roseverdict:

kimmycup:

omgbubblesomg:

funny-tik-toks:

Thera the deaf ferret gets a surprise!

😲

This is what PURE JOY looks like.

ah, to be a deaf ferret surprised with an avalanche of toys…

(via borinq)

vonlipvig:

yournewapartment:

disney-rapunzel-merida-vanellope:

YOOOOOOO 😦

Whoever had “Dyatlov Pass Incident Solved Using Frozen” on their Bingo card…

Here’s a NatGeo article for more reading!

(via serenavanderweasley)

confusedbyinterface:

one-venti-neurosis:

plum-soup:

Bus drivers who see you running and open their hole are better public servants than any cop.

their what now?

(via deaddcas)

ink-the-shitposter:

ink-the-shitposter:

(via yetanothercriminalmindsfanatic)

suspiciouslysharklike-deactivat:

memewhore:

what baby elephant

(via borinq)

ulibeanz:

ulibeanz:

ulibeanz:

did i tell y’all that one time when my friends and i were making a joke mockumentary about a fake cryptid, my sibling and i got into a really bad hospitalizing car crash and instead of delaying it we just decided to film in the hospital and also convinced my mom and dad to play roles in it as well?

hey just wanted to say thanks for this incredibly chilling remark i’m so scared now

(via dontbeanassbutt)

manforsale:

(via supernaturalapocalypse)

ohnolitclass:

nerdshrimp:

jumpingjacktrash:

theymightbegiantsquids:

motherhenna:

motherhenna:

motherhenna:

Ok so I was looking for historical slang terms for penis (gotta be era-accurate when writing vintage dick jokes) and I came across….something

some linguist compiled a literal timeline of genitalia slang–a cock compendium, if you will–that dates back all the way to the fucking 13th CENTURY. This motherfucker tracked the evolution of erection etymology through 800+ years, because if he doesn’t do it, who else will? Thank you for your service, Johnathon Green.

Some of my favorites include:

• Shaft of Delight (1700s)
  
• Womb Sweeper (1980s)
• Master John Goodfellow (1890s)
• Nimble-Wimble (1650s)
• Corporal Love (1930s)
• Staff of Life (1880s)
• Spindle (1530s)
• As good as ever twanged (1670s)
• Gaying Instrument (1810s)
• Beef Torpedo (1980s)

and last but not least, the first recorded use of the word Schlong, which was in 1865 CE. Tag yourself, I’m Nimble Wimble 

And are the lovely ladies feeling left out? not to worry! Johnathon’s got you covered, gals, because he also made one for vaginas. Highlights:

• Mrs. Fubb’s Parlor (1820s)
  
• Poontang (1950s)
• Spunk Box (1720s)
• Ringerangroo (1930s)
  
• Ineffable (1890s)
• Itching Jenny (1890s)
• Carnal Mantrap (1890s - a busy decade apparently)
• Bookbinder’s Wife (1760s)
• Rough Malkin (1530s)
• Socket (1460s)

and a personal favorite, crinkum-crankum, circa approximately 1670.

@antique-symbolism

this alone has justified the internet

@ohnolitclass

I’ve been sitting on this for over a week bc frankly I was just OVERWHELMED with options. Gotta give it up to As Good As Ever Twanged for the simple joys of a good dick twanging and then Carnal Mantrap for pure descriptive terror. We love to see it.

(via askr-deactivated20230503)

lynchbrothers:

catchymemes:

On that note, this guy’s anonymity went so far that the other actors on Game of Thrones didn’t know that he was the drummer from Coldplay (source: Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon by James Hibberd)

(via askr-deactivated20230503)

hogwartsconsultingtimelady:

pocket-stars:

synthbutch-deactivated20210226:

the-little-miss-rasputin-pageant:

Perry the platypus is Doof’s therapy animal

(via smallswingshoes)